Do you dread having to deal with your child’s meltdown in a public place?
Don’t get me wrong, it’s definitely not my most favourite thing and I will do a lot to try and avoid it happening. But sometimes it does happen and I have to help my children through it.
I am going to share with you 5 things I do that help me get through a public tantrum or meltdown and deflect any judging and/or rolling eyes.
I hope that they will help you too…
#1 I focus on my child
I know, it’s easy to say, but really try to focus on your child. The strangers around you, you’re probably never gonna see them again so why care about what they think?
Even if they go home and tell their friend “hah, listen! I saw this mum today at the supermarket…did NOT know what she was doing, her kid flailing around everywhere and screaming, sheeesh!” – realistically that probably won’t ever happen, but even if it does who cares!
What is more important? What some random person sees in the 10 seconds of their day that they will probably forget about anyway, or the fact you are supporting your child and building a relationship of trust, connection and support?
#2 I imagine I'm a superhero
In that moment, I am my child’s superhero…really. Allowing them to express what they need to express, accepting and acknowledging their feelings in let’s say, not the most convenient of places…I am a frickin’ superhero! And you are too!
I imagine that I surround myself and my child with a protective forcefield. We are in this safe bubble that I have created, a bubble of comfort and love and security. We are safe inside it: my child is safe to express their strong emotions and I am safe to do the best I can and support them.
This forcefield also repels judgments that people are throwing at me. It doesn’t let them get to me and they bounce off and disappear into the ether. I don’t even feel their existence for a second, they can’t touch us.
#3 I remember this is SO important
I remember I am doing THE MOST important work right here, right now. By responding compassionately I am shaping my child’s brain and building a strong foundation for healthy emotional development.
I am strengthening our relationship through connection, through listening and seeing my child as they are and loving them in their most vulnerable moment, loving them ‘at their worst.’
There is nothing more important than showing our children how strong our unconditional love for them is. And in moments like these, this is where we can shine and connect with them on a raw and intimate level.
#4 I am proud
I feel proud about how I choose to respond to my child while they are struggling. I want the world to see and learn from me. I am modelling and teaching strangers how to respond respectfully and compassionately to a little human. I am showing them that this isn’t a behaviour we should punish or berate our children for, I am showing them that we can do things differently.
I hope that people will notice and tell others about this mum who was so kind and patient and loving when her child was having a tough moment.
I hope that another parent will see and will remember this and try it with their own child in the future.
#5 I can move
If possible I remember I can always move us if I or my child feel too uncomfortable where we are, we don’t have to stay. We can go to a quieter place, the car, a park bench, just away from the original place that caused the meltdown. When we are in a calmer space I can really focus on supporting my child through this tough time and we can reconnect. If needed, we can go home, plans can be altered.
If I cannot move my child at that moment I stay with them and go over the previous 4 steps in my head. I know what I’m doing.
And so do you. You know how to comfort your child, you know what to do and you are awesome! xxx
Photo by Jomjakkapat Parrueng on Unsplash
